If you want the snow on your walkway poorly shoveled or if you’d like assistance with any of the following please contact me:

-Unofficial translations between English and Spanish

-Proofreading/Feedback on poetry or academic writing

-Tutoring

PLEASE NOTE: After a lengthy and bitter legal battle, I am no longer permitted to offer spiritual consultations to houseplants. The ficus community has made it clear that my philosophy of suffering was “not conducive to growth.”